Just a short little emo moment here. I'm just tired of my dad being ill. Not tired in the 'goddamn why won't he just get fucking better?' way but in the 'I'm tired of him hurting all the time' way. Cancer twice, open heart surgery, lost use of his left hand, can't walk faster than a grandma stride, gout, heart working 1/3rd the amount it should... It's just been weighing down on me lately. I mean, when I think about it I get a little sad, but lately the gout in his hand got infected.
From what I understand without looking it up, gout is caused by a rapid increase or drop in uric acid levels, causing crystals to form in the joints. All my dad's medicines fuck with his uric acid levels, so he's constantly gouting up. And of course, it's in his RIGHT hand! His left hand is a dead fish, and he can barely use his right one half the time to do more than henpeck emails and wipe his ass. And now the gout in his finger is infected, so he can use it LESS. I had to make his breakfast for him this morning and I could tell he was just utterly shamed that he couldn't even spoon rice into a bowl. It's very depressing to watch. We were gonna play WoW this morning, but I don't think he can because he can barely touch anything. I'm not sure he'll be able to play D&D tomorrow either.
And now everyone realizes how much of a dork Drake really is.
Anyway, I told myself I wouldn't make this LJ way too whiny, so I'll stop here. I was just venting I guess. :] I don't expect anyone to really read this, so I'm not gonna ask for hugs or anything.