Well, public school hasn't been the nightmare I imagined it would be. I mean, I still think most of it's asinine ('Drake, you can't have pepper spray. It's a weapon.' 'Drake, you can't have a pocket knife, it's a weapon.' 'Drake, you say 'good morning' when someone says it to you.' 'Drake, say the pledge of allegiance with everyone else.'), but I get work done much faster. I've already finished three classes. :D I have like, 18 more credits to finish, but hey, I'm workin on it. Also, my Biology teacher is a Trekkie, so we get a long pretty well. And my English teacher is a fantasy nerd, so we're always geeking out about LotR. And I'm the only redhead in my class, so it makes me feel special.

I got invited to the Angels of Isis, which is one of Isis's dance performing companies, so YAY. First meeting on October seventh! *dancedance* I might be going to the dance party (haffla) on Saturday, but I don't wanna go alone, so I'm considering bribing Genny/Taryn to go with me with a promise that I'll buy their tickets. I told Annie, one of the teachers there, that I didn't want to go because I don't really have any 'dance friends.' And she was like, "Oh, don't worry! I'll sic my son on you! He's intelligent and funny and blhaskjdfljsd.' And then I was like O_O Um... does it sound like I'm being pimped out, or what? No. So I'll try to bring my own friends instead of having one 'sicked on me.'

Also, might see the new Star Trek movie again in the dollar theater on Sunday. Only because I want to see Chekov running through the Enterprise going I KEN DO ZAT I KEN DO ZAT! AUGH he's so cuddly! I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE HIM AND KEEP HIM FOREVER. ...Is that creepy of me?

Long story short, my brother has absolutely no respect for me. He has his stupid, loud, obnoxious friends over practically every day, ALL day, so I'm always having to run back to Mommy's room to do my homework because I can't concentrate because they're too DAMN LOUD. All they do is play video games and computer games and blast their crappy music and laugh and yell at the top of their lungs and I'm TIRED OF ITTT.

( Rest of my whining behind the cut. )

Just a short little emo moment here. I'm just tired of my dad being ill. Not tired in the 'goddamn why won't he just get fucking better?' way but in the 'I'm tired of him hurting all the time' way. Cancer twice, open heart surgery, lost use of his left hand, can't walk faster than a grandma stride, gout, heart working 1/3rd the amount it should... It's just been weighing down on me lately. I mean, when I think about it I get a little sad, but lately the gout in his hand got infected.

From what I understand without looking it up, gout is caused by a rapid increase or drop in uric acid levels, causing crystals to form in the joints. All my dad's medicines fuck with his uric acid levels, so he's constantly gouting up. And of course, it's in his RIGHT hand! His left hand is a dead fish, and he can barely use his right one half the time to do more than henpeck emails and wipe his ass. And now the gout in his finger is infected, so he can use it LESS. I had to make his breakfast for him this morning and I could tell he was just utterly shamed that he couldn't even spoon rice into a bowl. It's very depressing to watch. We were gonna play WoW this morning, but I don't think he can because he can barely touch anything. I'm not sure he'll be able to play D&D tomorrow either. And now everyone realizes how much of a dork Drake really is.

Anyway, I told myself I wouldn't make this LJ way too whiny, so I'll stop here. I was just venting I guess. :] I don't expect anyone to really read this, so I'm not gonna ask for hugs or anything.

Yuppp. In a couple months, I will probably be seeing a gender therapist. :] I'm excited. My parents and I all think that some of my past and present depression/dissatisfaction with life has to do with some gender dysphoria, and that I just haven't been going to the right physcho/chiatrists. There's a gender therapist near me in the area (and they're in the gayborhood, how awesome is that?) and Mom says after Grammy leaves on Friday and after I get set up with public school that she'll make an appointment for me to see him. I hope it works.

Also, I babysat my toddler-age cousins yesterday with my brother, and good lord, I was happy to receive twenty-five bucks for it, but my cousins are hellions. O_o Every second they're bouncing off the walls, screaming, bossing us around, demanding things, and generally being obnoxious. Now I've seen some rowdy kids, but I think Alex and Emily take the cake. At least they mind when we tell them stuff.

But my aunt and uncle don't discipline them like, at all. Occasionally they'll tell them not to do something, but they never taught them to not interrupt when the adults are talking, to use their INSIDE VOICE, and to calmthefuckdown. I asked Mom if Merlon and I were like that when we were their age, and she's like 'Nooooo. Y'all had yer moments, but we didn't let y'all stay that loud and that obnoxious for very long. Y'all knew it was unacceptable to scream inside the house and interrupt the adults.' xD So we were moderately well-behaved children, I suppose.

This is what I've decided. It's far too hot and humid. I can't walk to the mailbox without sweating. >: I can't even drive well because the wheel (not to mention EVERY OTHER CONTROL INSIDE THE CAR) is too fucken hot. I have to wear gloves if I'm gonna drive. And I still manage to sweat even with the AC on full-blast. HEAT SUCKSSS. HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE SUMMER?

I'm not checking my mail till November. Till then, you can find me living in the freezer.

Also, my friend Michelle keeps Twittering (tweeting, whatthefuckever) about what's goin in in Iran with the Basijis and stuff. Before I wasn't too interested in what was going on, but goddamnmichelle, she keeps posting links that I CAN'T NOT CLICK ON. The fact that she says 'explicit images' just makes me want to click it moreee. And then I do and then I get sadfais. Never before have I seen what an axe wound looks like, but goddamn, i will never forget. Random people just get shot.

I watched one video of a college or something where students were being sniped at and the video was of them trying to save these two boys who were just shot. One was bleeding from the head, the other from between his hipbone and groin, right there on the hip flexor. They were using belts as tourniquets and stuff to try and save them whilst gunshots are rattling in the background. It's so touching and sad and while I don't cry, I was still like O.O hand-over-mouth-eyes-wide-like-a-deer-in-headlights face. It's so terrible.

Oh, and obligatory tribute to Jacko. ilu4ever. And while I told way too many bad MJ jokes, I really will miss him.

Y'all are prolly sick of hearing about what my family thinks of my weight BUTBUT my brother approached me yesterday and was all leiksrs and stuff. Apparently my eating habits are going to drive mom into drinking and will make daddy sad. And it apparently 'makes me worried,' from Merlon. Oh, and his girlfriend is apparently scared for my life. WTF

ANYWAY. So my brother said he was, starting July, going to make me work out with him and eat with him and stuff. 2000 calories a day (ugh kill me please), jogging, weights, pushups, chin-ups, all that shit. He promised I'd be a lot more toned. I told him if I got fat then I was becoming bulimic. xD

So I'm kinda scared but hopefully it will work. I mean, muscles, hell to the yeah, but I'm afraid of eating. Well, not eating, but eating that much. T_T

In other news, some friends and I just got plans made for a hotel for Infinitus and a villa at Disney. :] And I'm totally going to Hot Topic today to buy all the new Slytherin merch and the Draco shirt because HELLO THE FIRST DRACO SHIRT THEY'VE RELEASED OMGYAY.

So my mom and I are listening to this song on the radio. I forget what it was.

Mom: You know, this was the first case of a famous woman who died from complications with anorexia. *POINTED GLANCE AT DRAKIE*

Drakie: *sigh* Yes, Mother.

My god, Mom, could you be any more obvious?